Live
by Starr Bryte
Summary: All a Nobody ever dreams of becoming is a Somebody. But what will Roxas have to sacrifice in order to make Sora complete?


**Dear Reader,**

**Okay... After reading a really good piece of contructive critism while uploading KHII music videos I decided to do a rewrite...**

**TheSeer- Thanks so much...I know some of the lines are awkward but think about it... You're a 14-15 year old boy who just got his universe turned on it's head and you're talking to another 14-15 year old boy whose in suspended animation and is about to eat your soul. How easy do you think those words would come out? But I seriously love your review! Yes! Another person who agrees with me on pairings! Yay! And why would I need a beta? I already have awesome reviewers like you? Kudos!**

**This is a SPOILER for DAY 6 of Kingdom Hearts II. I was watching Lone-chan and Irvine play it and when we got to Day 6 I had several fits of shock and almost started crying. Poor Roxas... Poor, poor Roxas. So... This is Roxas' thoughts before he... er... dissappears? Turns into Sora again? Becomes complete? It popped into my head and had to come out.  
**

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts II.**

**I do not own 'Field Of Innocence' by Evanescence.**

**Thank you to Lone-chan and Irvine for coming with me to watch the Fireworks. I think I've almost completely overcome my fear of loud noises. Thanks for also playing KHII for me so that I could experience it as well...**

**Once again thanks goes to TheSeer! I will be writing more KH stuff in the future. It all depends on when the spirit moves me.**

**To the BoD fans reading this... I'M SORRY! I'LL FINISH THE NEXT CHAPTER AS SOON AS I CAN!**

**Going to bed now... Good night...**

**Stay safe  
Stay healthy  
Sincerely,**

**Starr**

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One whole divided by half is a half.  
The life span of a normal human is 100. 100 divided by half equals 50.  
A teenager is a human who has lived for 13 years. 13 years divided in half is... 6 and a half years.  
There are 7 days in a week (Divide that by half and it's 3 and a half days).  
It took 7 days to create the Universe.  
It will probably take less than a week to destroy it.

It took less than a week to destroy mine.

How can one life be lived in such a short amount of time, yet have memories that seem to go on forever?

My life overlaps itself. I've lived two lives.  
One of a Nobody. A heartless husk.  
One of a Human. A boy living in a summer on the brink of ending.

Both are mine  
The experiences.  
The life.  
Mine alone.

In places my two lives overlap.  
The thrill of fencing. Of knowing my opponant is as strong or stronger than I am. The feel of the hilt in my hand, the sword, be it of foam or steel, a deadly extension of my body.  
The joy of racing through the air at blinding speed whether it be by skateboard or simply running.  
The pride of victory over my opponants, of knowing that I am the best.

But in more than one place my two lives are completely different.  
Heartless. Emotionless. Violent. Yearning for something more.  
Kind hearted. Emotional. Tender. Yearning for things to stay as they are.

Then there is the third life I have lived. I lived it without ever knowing I lived it. A dream within a dream. Something so unattainable, yet I had held it in my hands for so long, never realizing it was there. So simple and beautiful and untouchable. Something that was never mine. A person I never was.

Sora.

Such a simple name. I think the meaning has something to do with the sky. A beautiful, windy, summer's sky. Sora.

That name means so much and yet so little to me.

6 days. 'Roxas' the 'Human', only existed for 6 days.  
'Roxas' the Nobody existed for almost three years. Three years and six days of life. So short. So short compared to the 12 years Sora has spent as a complete human being. Three years and six days asleep in a shell of porcelain and glass. Dead to the world. For Sora, time has no meaning. He could sleep forever and never know of the outside world. When he wakes up only a few seconds will have passed for him.

He looks like me. They always told me he looks like me. Looking at him now, seeing him for the first time. It's like looking into a warped reflection. He does look like me... A little at least. My hair is lighter than his. Less wild. His skin is tanner than mine since he's lived most of those 15 years on an island, playing in the sun. There is a slight dusting of freckles across his nose that you can only see if you get reeeeaaallly close. But I wonder... Are his eyes the same color as mine? Maybe they're completely different. I'd like to think that they'd be like his name... Deep blue with emotions quickly shifting across them like clouds. But they are closed for now. His face is slack with sleep and so childlike. Of course everyone looks childlike when they sleep. Even a Nobody.

I should hate him. I should hate him with my entire being. But all I can feel is a strange, aching emptyness. I had so much to live for. But then again... The six days I spent in that town with those people was merely an illusion. All the experiences I had never happened. All the people I know and love...

Olette.  
Pence.  
Hayner.  
Seifer. They were all just illusions weren't they? They never really existed.

Olette with her sweet laugh and carefree smile, always there to comfort any pain and cheer any sadness.  
Pence with his simple views of life, letting Olette boss him around because he was afraid to tell her that he liked her.  
Hayner with his sense of humor and his take-action attitude and his laziness. My best friend. More like a brother than anything else.  
Seifer with his bizarre views of destiny and how he would contradict every word I said. Almost a friend. A good rival at least. All of them dear to me. But illusions. Data on a computer. Created and destroyed without care. All because of a boy named Sora.

I was never meant to exist.  
I am an accident.  
I am a Nobody.

Irony is bitter.  
The truth tastes even worse.

I should hate him. But I can't. He is half of me. Already I can feel the pull, the need to be close to him. Once he has me he'll be complete. His memories of his life before the sleep would return.

Memories of the island.  
Of Riku, his best friend, best rival, best brother, best everything.  
Of Kairi, the one he wants to give his heart to.  
Of Donald and Goofy, companions on a journey so good and true. All for one and one for all...  
Of Leon and Cid and Yuffie, who reminds him so much of Kairi that it hurts.  
Of sweet Aerith and her flowers.  
Of all the friends he made on his journey.  
Of Jiminey, a living breathing conscience.  
Of Mickey, a person he barely knows, but cares deeply enough to search for.

He needs those memories. He needs to be complete. He needs me.  
It's an odd feeling to be so needed that I have to die in order for someone else to live.  
It's nearly every person's dream to be needed.

But not mine... Of course I want to be needed. Of course I want to feel important. Of course I want to be special to someone. But not to the point where I have to give up everything! Especially to a person who needs me so badly, yet will never know that I exist!

Once he has me what will happen to me?Will he have my memories?  
Will he know the feeling of flying full tilt on a skateboard?  
Of racing up the side of a building through the rain?  
Will he know the thrill of sitting on the clock tower, staring that the world below?  
Of standing at the top of the sky scraper, surveying the city streets for more enemies to fight?  
Will he know the taste of sea salt ice cream?  
Of rain and blood and adrenaline?  
Will he know the familiarity of the Usual Spot?  
Of the powerful feeling of being strong and knowing that he has a place?  
Will he know embarrassment of walking to the accessory store everyday just to see the girl behind  
the counter because of a stupid little crush?  
Of seeing Axel smile?  
Will he know the cheerful irritation of fetching the Candy Lady's cat down from the awning everyday? Of enduring Axel's pranks and jokes and snarky sense of humor?

Or will the memories of those lives dissappear with me?

I'm afraid.

So afraid.

Sora.  
Namine.  
...Kairi...

Whoever you are...  
Wherever you are...

Sora.  
Sleeping here in front of me.

I'm scared, Sora.

I'm scared.

I...

I can't hate you.  
I could never hate you.  
Because you are the part of me that I've been missing.

You are me.  
I am you.

I don't care if my 6 days of existence was just an illusion.  
To me THEY were ALIVE!

Sora... Sora... When I'm gone will you remember for me?

Will you protect them for me?  
Will you live for me?

Stupid. So stupid. How can you?  
You'll never even know that I existed.

I know you, Sora.  
Stupid, sweet, oblivious, knowing, cowardly, heroic, stubborn, loving Sora.

I know you better than you know yourself.

But you will never know me.  
You can never know me.

I hope you never will.

Because thoughts of my...disappearance would hinder you.  
Of knowing that someone, something had to die so that you could live would cause you guilt and pain.

I hope you will never know of my existence.

Forget everything about this place.

Go back to your mission.

Find Riku.  
Find King Mickey.  
Find your way home.

Go to Kairi. Tell her everything you were afraid to say.  
Give her a kiss from me and promise that you will never leave again. Hell with it... Kiss Riku too and tell him you'll kick his ass if he ever goes away like that again. Then go and buy some sea salt ice cream and sit on the beach with Riku and Kairi and be happy.

Please... Be happy...

My Summer Vacation is over... I hope yours will never end. I never even got to go to the beach. I hope you go every day! I never even got to live a week. I only lived to see three years. I hope you live to see... A hundred and ten!

If I were to have any say in this...  
If I were to have just one last wish.  
One last prayer.

I would only need one.

My only wish...  
My only prayer...

Live.  
Live Sora...  
Live.

And become what I cannot be.  
What I will never be.

Don't be a Nobody Sora...  
Be a Somebody...

And live...

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_I still remember the world  
From the eyes of a child  
Slowly those feelings  
Were clouded by what I know now_

_Where has my heart gone?_

_An uneven trade for the real world  
I want to go back  
To believing in everything and knowing nothing at all_

_I still remember the sun.  
Always warm on my back  
Somehow it seems colder now_

_Where has my heart gone?_

_Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
I want to go back  
To believing in everything_

_Yet knowing nothing at all..._


End file.
